How to Succeed at Online Dating

Get a second date right away

Rachel Yerks


Man and woman walking on a colorful street, locking arms. Woman is resting her head on his shoulder.
Photo by Mark Rivera on Unsplash

For background, after a year of looking, I found my partner on OkCupid. My partner and I have been dating for 2.5 years and live together in a small apartment with our cat. I could not be happier with my relationship. Here’s how he stood out in a sea of profiles.

Pick a time and place to have a date

Sounds simple, but anyone who has used dating apps knows it’s hard to get a date. People end up texting forever and never meet up, or when they do meet up everything to talk about on the date has already been discussed virtually.

By proposing a date within the first two weeks of talking, he made sure we would have something to talk about when we met. Our topics weren’t exhausted by continuous texting, and we had an exciting discussion to look forward to. He told me exactly what days he was available and what towns he could drive to so I would feel comfortable and could pick the location.

Make your priorities known

My partner dated a college student previously. He turned down better job offers to take a job close to her school to be with her, and she broke up with him a couple of months later. He stated that work was his priority and he would be moving out of the area if any job offers arose. He would not make the mistake of putting a relationship before his career again.

When he moved away six months later, I expected it and was prepared. I continued my college education and after I graduated, I moved to be with him. As an unemployed individual hoping to freelance online, it didn’t matter where I was. I am happy with my decision, and since our relationship is more serious now, he has agreed to take his next position on the east coast which is where I want to end up.

Split the check 50/50

I don’t believe in being paid for. For some, it’s a nice gesture, but for others it makes them feel obligated like they owe the other person for something. Yes, he pays for date nights now and then, but our first date was split down the middle. I didn’t want to have that feeling of obligation, and he had been put in positions on first dates where he paid for his date’s far more expensive…